Winter's Scattered Pages
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Grader Wages

Grader Legend Tracker

So at one point, I had a whole outlined story (well, most of it) for a huge epic writing for Phione (before cash was a thing). And then my laptop crashed and I lost it to the void. Among other stories. So I'ma do my best to claim victory and drag pieces back by remembering them one at a time.

[codename: ivy & vergil go on an adventure]


Post #1
[ivy & vergil go on an adventure]
cc: 1603

Park story. Keeping most of the main points. Still a buddy-cop-esque roadtrip story to first blow up their relationship and then kinda sorta fix it (but not perfect; life is not like that). The problem before was that Vergil learned more than Ivy did in the first loose outline, so that needs to be fixed so they both learn equal lesson “weight” and ultimately learn how to get along a little. Previous park posts explored this a little better than the old draft did (reference Easter Capture contest Part II in the Power Plant).

Vergil's Obstacles:
  • competing with Dual (Chainy's Gallade) and other mons as the newbie relatively
  • resents being captured to an extent
  • almost singularly focused on getting strong (to what ends though?)
  • stubborn
  • some attachment issues because of the nature of wild pokemon, unknown family history

Ivy's Obstacles:
  • stubborn
  • battles with the desire to both keep Vergil around or free him
  • feels like a failure no matter the choice
  • spends maybe too much time at work
  • some attachment issues because of past family troubles
Basically, they're too much alike. But that can also be a boon, which should be demonstrated. But also one of the things they need to work on too. Ivy is practically married to her job, but it's not like an attention thing that Vergil wants necessarily, since he ignores her a lot of the time too. But it's clear that both of them have issues about the past that prevent them from progressing with their lives. They were kind of both abandoned in a way.

That's why they must go back. Back to the past! Time is tricky, but I've always wanted to sort of write about it.
Post #2
[ivy & vergil go on an adventure]
cc: 3180

Opens in the Park, as that's the beginning issue. Establish early on that Park Rangers no longer just monitor what's going on on the island but also help out with issues related to Pokemon care and such on the mainland and in other parts of the world too (old draft implied that but didn't actually say so, which made it seem odd that the researchers were coming to the island for aid). I established that continuity in other stories where Rangers show up.

There's a meeting going on with some of the higher up staff and some scientists from [somewhere]. They're concerned about the Manaphy migration patterns—they're off or have stopped entirely and are trying to puzzle out why. It's maybe affecting some weather/environment things negatively. Or the risk of going extinct (maybe they're seeing fewer, and they've been absent from the Park too; this is relevant since Phione hatches).

They're trying to brainstorm ideas (and mapping it out, on the whiteboard) and offer causes. They mention what they've investigated so far. Ivy is pretty bored. She wants to be outside and not in the office, but she also knows this is important so tries to pay attention. But there's something eating at her mind, and she can't exactly tell what it is—thinks it's from Haji maybe, but he's pretty cut off right now because he knows she's in a meeting.

She's also distracted because one of the scientists keeps looking at her. One of the quiet ones. And he's asked her a couple of questions directly instead of to the group, which she found odd. Thinks he's vaguely familiar but can't recall meeting or seeing him before. Slightly older than she is.

Because meetings are boring this shouldn't take up too much time. But it is important to set up the general premise and some of the stakes.

Nobody really commits because nobody is really free. Well, Ivy is kinda, but the anniversary of her brother's disappearance is coming up so she always takes vacation and goes all emo mode. Maybe the scientist dude asks her directly and she sort of stumbles at an answer. One of the other Rangers could maybe offer a reason (who else is in this?)

There's a rumble or distant sound. Not earthquake level to knock things off of the wall, but enough to get everyone's attention.

Vergil crashes through the wall (or just breaks it; clashing with Dual/other?) and it breaks up the meeting. There needs to be battle or something to calm him down. Maybe Haji has to help seal him in the ball. It's a big point—the implication that it's happened before or is a big deal that's causing problems for the Park.

Figure out
  • what he was doing
  • what else he has done
  • how/what suppresses
  • how scene resolves (sam is involved)
  • there used to be quotes as the spacers between scene changes. Keep?
Overall, these scene should move relatively quickly so it's not too boring. But it needs to also reveal the personal conflict between Ivy and Vergil. In the first draft, I think she also got hurt, and that's what triggers Sam to be upset. (maybe those are separate scenes now). The researchers also need to finish business at some point. Sort of like a “well if you get time, give us a call” and leave a business card or contact thing.
[ivy & vergil go on an adventure]

Sam is early on. Sam is important to Ivy and is probably what kicks Ivy into actually helping out the researchers and going on the quest (although maybe not until later, after the choice is made).

She is still snappy. Intelligent but takes very little bologna. She's a medic on staff at the Park, since they're sort of cut-off from the mainland and have to ship supplies in. They need to be self-sufficient. She's more of a people-doctor than for Pokemon, though I imagine a lot of the info is transferable between the two. Shoulder-length brown-blonde hair with dark, square glasses. Has a coffee IV practically, but is known for it being pretty bad-tasting around the office.

Refined or at least coming across a teeny bit prim and proper, or elegant maybe. But due to where she works, not pampered and isn't afraid to get into the thick of it either. She came from a short story I wrote from Detective Fiction where she knew/supported one of those vigilante heroes that went undercover (like inspiration for first Batman, style) and her daddy was tough as nails so she adopted some of that. So this one draws on that too.

Sam is important to Ivy because she's very no-nonsense and tells it straight. Usually Ivy is like this too so they get along well. Sam is one of her only friends. She hangs out with the Rangers and knows Jakk in Chainy's family (for self-defense/working out), but really nobody outside of work that isn't a Pokemon.

It's Sam that prompts Ivy to think more about the decision of keeping Vergil or not. Like, she gets the Ranger thing and that the choice is hard, but she also points out the damage to both the building and herself (since she's providing medical assistance). She asks the hard question—if keeping him around is worth all the fuss. In sort of a yeah, yeah, I know your reasons, but, is it?

This is one of the dilemmas. So capturing mons and taking them out of the Park sort of disrupts their life and the psuedo-natural state they're in. But it's also not natural because they go out into the world to do things more and more. Grow and battle and all that. At the same time, the Park has to have Trainers come in to capture mons or else they will suffer from overcrowding and lack of resources, which is also bad. As natural as the Park is, it's still basically just a nature reserve—it was created, and is, in essence, a zoo of sorts. Trainers are a part of the Park's ecosystem and natural order of things.

The aftermath of the meeting interruption is a shorter scene, basically just patching Ivy up and proposing the question.

It's a point that Haji is not there. He is likely babysitting Vergil's Pokeball so he doesn't break out again.

Ivy feels guilt. That part is important to include—she is guilty either way. And then doubly guilty for not making a choice yet. For dragging it out.

Sam says she needs a vacation. A real vacation. Not the moping around she does. But Ivy doesn't really have an answer for that. Just lost in her own thoughts.

-does Sam bring up the researcher job now or later?
[ivy & vergil go on an adventure]

Later, same day as incident. Ivy has not gone home. It's really late. This is not uncommon. She's looking at an old file she keeps at the office of the details of her brother's disappearance. Things like newspaper clippings and stuff she's kept. Her own scribbles too, although a lot of them are messy and nonsensical because she was younger and emotional. Normally, she doesn't do that while at work, but she's pretty much done for the day.

Sam comes in with a cup of coffee and sort of gives her a look with a brow raised over her glasses. “You're still here?” implying like what the heck are you doing.

Ivy is a workaholic and Sam knows that. But she glances over to the couch where Vergil's Pokeball is laying. Haji is napping there too. Sam says hi to him and he makes some sort of gesture in response. But that's not really why Ivy has stayed behind—not entirely anyway. She's also actually pretty sore. And she didn't want to go home or travel while she wasn't feeling well just in case there was trouble. At least here she had some support in case things went bad. She didn't know if she could handle it by herself (she admits she's not the greatest battler/trainer to herself).

Sam sort of purses her lips but doesn't argue. Just tells her she needs this more than she does and salutes then sets the coffee cup down on the desk. Ivy sort of leans over/hides the documents she's looking at until sam says goodnight.

Some of the lights in the building go lower/night mode since there's fewer staff on; she's there a really freaking long time, mostly just thinking.

[what if part of the problem and solving is that Ivy needs to sort of prove she's tough to Vergil? She's sort of already done that in other stories/runs, but only minorly. Maybe this needs to be more directly. What does he really want from her? Maybe it is that abandonment thing—he's seen she's dedicated to others/her job, but maybe not enough to him specifically? Particularly because she doesn't seek out the battle life and is self-claimed not the best at fighting and strategies to do so better. (stronger to take care of himself in case he's ever abandoned again)]

For timeline, it's a few days before she's scheduled to go on her mope-cation.

Haji is more awake after Sam leaves and gets up to join her. She's mentally a little worried about Vergil's ball, not that physical distance has anything to do with it, but Haji reassures her it's alright (he doesn't use contractions tho, remember). They ruminate about the documents a little.

She knows Haji probably doesn't approve. Especially because this happens every year. Mostly, she isn't trying to “solve” it. She just gets swept up in nostalgia and angst for a little while. Face buried in fur.

She asks him if its a waste of time, since there's other work to be done (she uses the recent visitors as an example of other problems that need to be worked on). Speaks it even if she doesn't have to. If it's a lost cause (this part she has a harder time admitting). And he doesn't really have an answer for her because it means so much to her. She asks if she's neglecting them or something because of it, if it makes her a worse person. It's not something that any of them can dissipate or fix. A void there. She groans.

Haji remarks that maybe sam is right. He's tentative. Doesn't want to upset her. But says that maybe she does need a project.

That gets her thinking about the researchers and how the one focused a lot of attention on her. And Haji says something that triggers a thought, and she goes to dig through her file cabinet. She pulls out an old photo of one of her brother's research teams. Worn on the edges, creased in the middle. It was one he'd kept on him but given to her at some point.

But there's someone that looks like the scientist who was at the table.

She reaches for the coffee and makes a face as she drinks it. It's bad, but she comments that it was going to be a long night.
[ivy & vergil go on an adventure]

At some point, Ivy needs to go back to the house to check on it. Something needs to remind her about this. Maybe some mail she scoops up on her way into work (she'd still have to pay utilities on it) that she reads later in her office. She needs to go there timeline-wise before her scripted vacation though, so she has time to come back to the Park.

I forgot what came between this and the next major scene and I am so annoyed!

I'm still thinking about the page break quotes. There was one from Sam in the post-bandaging-you-up scene, but the thought keeps being muddled from something the character she was inspired from said. But the style was the same in that she said it right at the end of the scene to break the page. So I do still like that structure.

I also like the photo scene (that's new from the old draft as a way to connect past to present) but I also liked ending it before and going to the house right after. But! Ivy does need to actually think about this choice. She probably needs to think about this even <more> than what I've shown her to do.

She could go to the house because of the photograph. She could dig through her brother's room (which she hasn't gone in much and didn't really clean out nor go through all of his things; a silly little girl's hope that one day he would be back to do it himself that carried over). But because of the scientist she thinks she recognizes, she would need to go through files to be sure. That's an option.

However, that also takes away from the impact of the house scene. But maybe not. Argh. She can't go there just for the Vergil bit. There has to be something else. Maybe the Vergil bit happens <first> and then she looks through the room while morose in a sort of “welp, can't feel any worse” sort of way. And probably doesn't make it through the scene.

A follow up line of dialogue could be commenting on being one player short or something like that. [Then again, that seems insensitive to anyone who works with Ivy too.]

Also, there is a relic of some sort that the research team has (but that probably isn't brought to the Park for the meeting. It's at the site later.). Very important. The original concept was sort of shaped like a whistle, maybe in the shape of a Manaphy/related but maybe not so much anymore. But an empty sphere of space in the middle.
[ivy & vergil go on an adventure]

This may now skip around and be entirely out of order because I've forgotten how I laid it out before. But that's okay. I've literally chopped up paper and physically reorganized stories and essays—I'll do that if I have to!!! [an illustrated mind map might make for a good sketch too]

Ivy and crew eventually go back to the house. Vergil is grumpy as per usual but he is out of his ball (Haji practically always is). They go through routine stuff, and it's when they go outside that the drama starts going down.

Vergil could be like practicing forms or something. But ignoring her for the most part. Haji stays inside for this part because he could sense what she was thinking. There's a decent grassy yard with trees lining it. She's sort of made an arena with dirt/some sort of border to try to help train (they live in Eterna area).

Ivy makes a comment akin to “we're never going to understand each other, are we?” but in her way. And this is why it's important that Vergil does something else disruptive earlier, since he's not listening here either. He doesn't even notice as she takes out his ball (or maybe he does, but only after she looks at it for a moment. Double check the run to see what ball type it is in draft). Hands are shaking a little bit.

Does she apologize that it wasn't enough? And maybe that's what gets his attention enough finally to see her twisting the ball so it breaks and releasing the capture technology. She drops the pieces on the ground. [it's pointedly not raining. But probably overcast.] Maybe they look at each other for a moment. And then Vergil teleports away. And when Ivy waits for a few minutes, he doesn't come back.

[Later, there is a scene in Vergil's POV (maybe several of these throughout, since he's also sort of a main character, but unsure if I wanna get into that and his thought process for sure. It would probably help me figure out what's going on with his character though. But at the same time, takes some of the tension away because too much information is being given out. Maybe. I could probably make it work.).

He goes back to the house but nobody is there. (sort of like he was just having a tantrum and returned) He finds the ball pieces still sitting in the yard. The house and the yard are dark and nobody is there (he can tell even with his not-as-good mental senses). He tries to put the ball pieces together but they don't work anymore. He doesn't feel a pull from it. It won't stay closed. And he isn't sure what to feel about that.

There's also something watching him that he barely picks up. His mental powers are not as good as his physical, nor as good as Haji's or even Dual's (which makes him testy) but he can tell something is lingering. He just doesn't know what it is. He teleports away.]

-in-between, maybe from Sam, “What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be on vacation?”
[ivy & vergil go on an adventure]

Ivy mopes around at work post-decision. Candle pretty much won't talk to her. She had to come to work (maybe she goes to the house on the first day of the vacation after all) because the Chandelure was wailing at the apartment and got a complaint. So they needed to get out of there. Some of Ivy's other Pokemon are with Candle trying to help calm her down (Candle liked Vergil the best in that peppy person won't leave another alone sort of way).

It's sort of a planned transition into Ivy being separated from her partners. Haji is still with her currently though. That part is important for set up later.

I kinda feel that Ivy and Vergil don't have enough interaction together. There's no question there needs to be another scene or some kind of inclusion on his part. I could do like I did in that other story or run, where it shows how they're similar in mannerisms like crossing arms, scowling, etc.

Ivy is not really doing any work. She's moping, but for a different reason than her normal. The lights are off in the office and the door is mostly closed but only slightly ajar. She's kinda laying on the desk on her arms, maybe rolling a pen or something.

They need something to do. Sam is likely here again. Basically tells her to suck it up but in a slightly nicer way. Says she needs a project (if she said it before, she really reinforces and stresses it). Like this is not healthy kind of thing. She comes at Ivy hard at first but sees how dejected she is and is actually supportive too. Cos they're besties. Or something.

She says that maybe it was a good decision or maybe it wasn't. But she made a choice so she's gotta pick up and deal with what follows cos she's got other creatures depending on her. And then reiterates about a pasttime. Something to distract her in the meantime, from all of this, and she's including the brother stuff in the mix.

Dialogue line for the page break with Ivy calling the number on the card. It's the researcher she sort of recognizes.

I feel this scene is sort of lacking. But that may be just because it's shorter. Which is <okay> so long as it serves a purpose. And it does, kind of. And more magic will happen when I actually go to write it correctly.

Something in the office—or maybe Haji—should spark calling the number on the card. Maybe Sam brings it in. Or Haji finds the card in the mess of the office. Something like that.

Right now Ivy is feeling like her life is kinda crumbling a little. Like, she should have it together more than she does, but obviously there are so many things wrong. And she also doubts her ability at her job because of what is happening with Vergil. Like what sort of caretaker she is. If she's cut out for it sort of thing.

And she's also kind of angry of everyone telling her to let things go. [that sparked a thought. Is that one of the dialogue lines that paged break in the post Sam bandaging scene? Something like some things we have to let go of or...] They mean well but its maddening not to know what happened. To just write it off without trying to fix it. To tell her to leave it alone as they did in her brother's case.

And this is where Haji comes in and suggests they investigate. Because she feels this way. It isn't like her to just brush it off. She isn't a quitter (except with Vergil, which is why she feels so bad). So that's why she calls. Maybe if she could help the researcher, he would help her figure out what happened to her brother.

Sam, back up at the bandage scene. Maybe tells Ivy how she pushes too hard and doesn't relax enough. She warns Ivy that she'll burn out or miss something important or not be operating at the top of her game because she's tired and stressed out. Because the whole situation is stressing her out (Vergil specifically, in that scene, because Sam doesn't really know the extent of the other problem).
[ivy & vergil go on an adventure]

I had an epiphany of sorts. It doesn't solve all the problems but connects a few dots, and I'll take it.

I've struggled with connecting her brother's old girlfriend into the story and giving a reason for Ivy to go see her before this. But there's an emotional moment I want them to have because it helps Ivy on this road. But now there's a connection. I knew I wanted the GF to run a company of some sort but not sure what it is. Now it has a place and a purpose. It's going to be in/near Goldenrod (which is close to Ilex and that's important later too).

The GF runs some sort of aid/philanthropic company that assists organizations and people who have been hit by criminals like poachers, remnants of Rocket-esque groups, and other ne'er-do-wells. They work with local law enforcement and others.

This research group that came to the Park also works with the GF's company—that's the connection I've been needing. But Ivy still needs to go there.

There also needs to be some more conflict, so here we go. Ivy and the scientist talk on the phone again. But there's some sort of scuffle or trouble and they get cut off or he ends it early. Maybe he tells her about the item the GF has that her brother sent. An artifact. He says its valuable or important but that there's been groups on the move lately. Then he has to go quickly.

Ivy has a severe dislike of poachers and the like, so she goes to check it out. Sam said she needed to get out anyway. She leaves the rest of the Pokemon there but takes Haji with her. They go to Johto on the boat because it's too far for Haji to take them. Combined maybe Vergil and Haji could have done it together, but she tries not to think about that. Instead, she thinks on the boat ride over.

When they get there, the trouble is already over since it's been so long, but she follows up with the scientist anyway. And then they get talking about how this all connects together. About his theory, that they haven't been able to check yet.

He thinks something about the Manaphy problem is connected to an ancient ruins they once had on the list to investigate. But now they can't find this place. They need a waystone of sorts, which is what the artifact does. He describes it to her.

He tells her the GF might have the thing they need. Because Jack (her bro) had sent something to her (maybe Ivy doesn't know the scientist worked with the GF until this point). But she hadn't said what it was. And he thinks these ruins hold the key. But there are other people after it! Hence the trouble before.

So Ivy says, so you're implying I should go get this artifact from GF. And bam, that's how this leg works.
[ivy & vergil go on an adventure]

Facts about Manaphy and Phione that are relevant to this story: They return to where they were born no matter how far away they are. So realistically, if there were multiple of them, traveling could in theory affect things like currents and weather. Maybe if they <can't> return to where they were born it causes a dilemma. Like maybe if they get upset, energy leaks, since they are also born with a “wondrous power” that allows them to bond with any kind of Pokemon. So there is obviously some sort of psychic manipulation thing going on there.

Weather issues can also be potential problems that come up in the story. Maybe there's a storm and that prevents Ivy and Haji from going back to the Park right away, since they can't take a boat out there and Haji can't teleport that far. That would help keep her separated.

Ivy should also feel like something is watching her at certain points, especially somewhere in this area. Similar to Vergil. We drawin' parallels here bois.

Their next stop is Goldenrod (the researcher should be somewhere close but maybe not necessarily in the same city) to go visit the GF. But due to the violence/whatever problem (that I haven't actually figured out yet), security is tight. Ivy has no way to contact the GF, and the guard won't let her up the elevator despite trying to say who she is.

Haji can't teleport them because he's never been there (and maybe there's some type of security blocking it regardless. Haji would probably be able to sense that).

Ivy is not normally a violent person. But she is not in a good mental place right now. And this person is blocking the progress on her only project. So when he tells her to drop it/scram, she gets triggered. She doesn't really hurt him, but she makes a mental choice to disable him. Because of previous poacher activities, she's started working out herself with Jakk, Chainy's brother, in Veilstone (which is near her house relatively since she lives in Eterna). So she knocks the guard out and props him up sitting at the desk by the elevator.

Haji is a little bit concerned. Ivy is too. But it's already done. She mentally notes that's probably not how Sam would mean it if she saw this. But they hurry up the elevator.

She walks with confidence through the correct floor because there's a secretary. Maybe she can be on the phone or something so she doesn't see Ivy at all. While in the GF's office, she snoops a little. Mostly she looks out the window to see the city below. Reflection in the window, sort of poetic stuff, like what kind of person is she becoming sort of thing. She thought she knew when she signed up to be a Ranger, but recently that's kind of becoming untrue.

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